The online nerd community lost it's collective s-word this week after an Avengers cast member gave out a spoiler about the next movie. Gwyneth Paltrow revealed that in the sequel to Infinity War, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts have a baby.

Wow.

An actress who is only in the most recent movie for 60 seconds "spoiled" the movie? Really? That tidbit spoiled anything for anybody anywhere? And how seriously do we take Gwyneth's insight on this franchise? Pepper's contribution to Infinity War can best be described as "walking with her boyfriend in the park until something interesting starts happening".

Here are some much more interesting spoilers for the next Infinity Wars. They're not true but they ARE more interesting than a baby Pep-Ton running around.

  • During climactic battle scene Captain America bursts into flames, turning into the Human Torch and exclaiming," Oh yeah, I forgot I could do this!"
  • Captain America goes mano a mano against Thanos who reveals that he’s actually Scott Pilgrim
  • Bruce Banner and Black Widow finally do it but Banner Hulks out in the middle, killing Black Widow instantly
  • Captain America turns out to have been an evil agent of Hydra all along.
  • Loki will either realize the error of his ways and help the Avengers …OR, he’ll say f*** it and betray the Avengers.
  • Hulk finally "comes out" but then has to to go to therapy for "performance anxiety"
  • Ant-man and Wasp disclose the secret of surviving Thanos: have a movie coming out later this summer.
  • Magneto shows up and magnetos the Infinity Gauntlet off of Thanos' hand
  • It turns out all the people killed by Thanos have gone to "The Negative Zone" and the next movie will crossover with the DC comics universe.
  • Squirrel Girl, man. Squirrel Girl.

This thread continues on Reddit.