Name A Cockroach After Your Ex- Here’s What My Ex’s Would Be!
The Hemsley Conservation Centre in the UK is holding an awesome fundraiser for Valentine's Day. If your ex really bugs you and you want to donate to a good cause, you can now name a cockroach at the conservatory in honor of that annoying ex. Through their "name a cockroach programme" (again, it's in the UK) your donation of less than two American dollars is used to help projects at the zoo. The Bronx zoo also has a promotion where you can name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after your ex or your current love bug for $15.
That sounds nice and all, it's a great cause, but the only way you'd be able to exact revenge on that ex is if you'd name the cockroach, after donating to a great cause and getting your certificate, and then you'd be able to SMASH it! So, in honor of the conservatory and their great fundraising project. I'd like to introduce the "Joanna Ex-Boyfriend Conservatory of Insects." You don't need to send donations, unless it's wine, consider this my "Thank You, Next" but with insects. Now none of them are the cockroach, but some of them certainly have the same characteristics as some of these insects:
Let's start with the most fabulous of all insects, the butterfly. This one would be named after my ex Joshua. We dated in high school then surprise- he came out of the closet. We've been best friends since!
Beetles have hard exoskeleton's which is why I'd name one after Carlos. Carlos was tough on the outside, but sweet on the inside. Thank you, next.
Crickets tend to get annoying with their chirping and chirping, which is why I'd name a cricket after Ricky. Sweet, but damn the boy would not stop texting!
You know how bees die after stinging? As far as I'm concerned, this dude could die after stinging someone else.
This ladybug would be named Joey, because, if you can believe it, I dated yet ANOTHER gay guy. We're still friends, and he's married to a wonderful man now.
Did you know that the common house fly is ALWAYS looking for a date? Yeah, kinda like my ex Richie.