Everybody knows Trump is our first bald president since Gerald Ford, right? I mean, he obviously let’s his hair grow long on the side and then whips it around and around until it forms a kind of poop-emoji of golden flax. We’re all agreed on that, yes?

Well, it turns out that Donald Trump’s biggest enemy isn’t actually “Robert Muller” or “facts”. It’s aircraft rotors.

How…? How is he bald in the back?? I always assumed that he at least had that full horseshoe that many men his age have. How he’s completely bald in the back is making me doubt everything I thought I knew about reality. It looks like Ron Swanson’s head in that one episode of Parks and Recreation when Leslie accidentally shot him with a shotgun.

And, admit it, you expected Voldemort’s face to be back there, didn’t you?