That is the message from an ER nurse’s tweet that went viral this week.

Later in the comments section the nurse elaborates. “They used the suction hose to suck out their periods hoping to end them early. They both sent themselves into shock instead”.

This should go without saying but you should only use a vacuum cleaner for one of the two things they were actually designed for:

1.) Vacuuming your floor

2.) Putting your wiener into if you’re a dude and you can’t afford a fancy Swedish Penis Pump.

Or, put another way… ladies, if it’s your time of the month the only thing that should be sucking is YOU (if you want to keep your boyfriend or husband happy for those 3 to 10 days when “the Red River is flooding the cotton fields”).

Let me head this one off at the pass before we start getting letters. Ladies…I’m joking! (#noimnot,#sorrynotsorry,#flyingthejapaneseflag, #gamedayforthecrimsontide)