The Academy Awards are a big deal for me. They have been since 1977 when I watched, crestfallen, as Star Wars lost to Annie Hall. Annie Freakin’ Hall!

Despite that initial slap in the face, I’ve continued to be an avid Oscars viewer and I always try to see as many of the nominated movies as I can. This year, I did so-so at best. I saw maybe…half of the major-category nominated films? So, I didn’t have a real clear-cut favorite this year. Instead, I’ll just share some of my reactions to the ceremony.

  • Did anybody miss the Oscars not having a host? I didn’t. And, it seemed to move a little faster!
  • Bradley Cooper and Lady Ga-Ga. Sheesh, get a room already. I know a lot of you (women mostly) have “shipped” these two a long time ago.
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  • But, really, Bradley’s girlfriend and baby’s mama Irina Shayk should have gotten some kind of acting award for “acting” like everything was normal and she doesn’t have anything to worry about.
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  • Spike Lee answered that age-old question: What would Prince have looked like if he was an elevator operator.
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Spike Lee celebrates as he accepts the award for best adapted screenplay for "BlacKkKlansman."

  • What’s the difference between “sound editing” and “sound mixing”? Does anybody know, even the winners?
  • The Best Documentary Short was a movie about menstruation. Huh…I guess it’s true. The Academy really DOES love period pieces.
  • Despite being heavily favored, Glenn Close lost for Best Actress. She’s been nominated 7 times, but has never one.
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So, Close…but no cigar. But, being heavily favored and losing should make her the strongest contender to play Hillary Clinton.

 

  • When is Lady Gaga going to get used to winning awards? Honestly, every time she wins something she breaks down in tears like someone just John Wick-ed her puppy.
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Gaga, you are amazingly…almost supernaturally…talented. Get used to this already.

  • Also, many people are speculating that Gaga and Bradley Cooper have already done IT. I don’t think so. You don’t get this obviously turned-on by somebody you’ve ALREADY had sex with:
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Of course, all that could have changed by today.