Nico Adjemian: 2 Pizzas Burnt To a Crisp on 2 Consecutive Nights
In the world of dependence and recovery there is a term called “rock bottom”. It’s when an alcoholic or drug addict is in a situation where they finally realize they’re problem is too much to handle alone and they need to reach out help. “Rock bottom” stories from alcoholics and addicts can be heart-breaking and inspiring at the same time.
You never hear about stoner “rock bottom” stories much, though. I imagine them to be a lot…funnier?
That’s probably the wrong word and people have probably had real struggles with weed just like people have with other “harder” substances.
But read this, watch the video and tell me it’s not at least a little, tiny bit funny.
So Nico Adjemian, my protégé, had been house-sitting for his parents the past three weeks. On Friday, he shows up at my house with a gym bag and two Costco pizzas. He tells me he’s moving back into his room at my house and that he can’t wait to eat his pizza.
Pizza goes into the oven. Nico goes out to his car and…let’s just say, the pizza wasn’t the ONLY thing getting baked that night. Meanwhile, I’m working a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle and don’t even notice the smell of burning pepperoni. An hour passes. Nico is back inside and I ask him about his pizza. He gets a confused look on his face that dissolves into a sad, embarrassed frown. He removes the pizza which by now looks like…the best way I can describe it is that it looks like when Burger King made a special “black hamburger” for Halloween a few years back. It looks like that except a pizza and not a hamburger. I laugh so hard I needed to brace myself against a chair.
Skip to the next night, Saturday. Nico puts pizza number 2 in the oven. He goes to “sit out on the patio” which is code for “burn some lettuce”. I go out with him and we each have a couple Stella Artois. At some point…it could have been an hour; it could have been two…I say, “Hey you didn’t forget your pizza again, did you?”
Again, his fact does this confused, shocked and then sad routine. Now, this turns out NOT to be a “rock bottom” moment. Because, as sad as he was, Nico was primarily upset because he was REALLY looking forward to eating that Costco pizza. Also, he was out of money. “I think I may have a reefer problem” didn’t even make the Top Twenty.
I had to document the second night which I present to you now.
Oh, one other thing: has anyone ever staged and intervention and, if so, what tips do you have?