At some point we, as a people, are going to come out the other side of this deadly pandemic. It may not be next week. It may not be six months from now. But someday…some sunny, glorious day…we’re going to get the good news that the pandemic is over. Actually, Covid-19 and related coronaviruses may be something we have to live with like we do the seasonal flu. The point is, just like following the Spanish Flu pandemic 100 years ago, we will be allowed to emerge from our shelters and get back into the world. Maybe we’ll all be a little more cautious and, hopefully, we’ll all be washing our goddamned hands when we go to the bathroom.

When the day comes, I think we need to come together…and throw a huge, joyous party with all of our frontline workers as the guests of honor. I’m talking doctors, nurses, EMTs…but also truck drivers and grocery store clerks. EVERYONE who risked everything to help us get through this (hopefully) once-in-a-century health emergency. We need to have music, booze, dancing, booze and maybe some booze. And it should all be FREE for those frontline heroes. Who’s going to pay for it all? I don’t know! Did they ask who was going to pay for all that ticker tape on V-Day? Hell no! You just found a nurse to kiss and celebrating victory. (2020 update: you need to ask for permission before kissing a nurse. Times have changed).

Also, while we’re brainstorming, how many people would be willing to donate to a fund for people who were put out of work and weren’t able to get unemployment or government loans? I mean, thousands of Americans ponied up for a border wall (and a million dollar yacht for Brian Kolfage). If Americans can get that fired up because they don’t like Mexicans maybe they can get fired up because they love their neighbors?